Uncensored Session with Mx. Tomie — feat. Sub Chillin
Mx. Tomie: Welcome to another uncensored session with Mx. Tomie. Today we have a very special guest. He’s one of my clients, one of my subs — this is Sub Chillin. Here’s his intake: he’s based in Florida. The form of play he’s into is beatdown and wrestling sessions, although I know he’s also into feet and CBT. His preferred times for play are whenever he’s no longer sore from the last beatdown — facts. And his kinks and fetishes are being a masochist. He enjoys being bullied, punched, kicked, choked, wrestled, overpowered by a pretty girl — all of those things. Welcome, Sub Chillin.
Mx. Tomie: Get on the chair. Welcome to a very different kind of session. How are you feeling?
Sub Chillin: Feeling good. Thank you for having me.
Mx. Tomie: I know. It’s such an honor for you to be here.
Sub Chillin: Yes, mistress.
The Warm-Up
Mx. Tomie: For the warm-up, let’s talk a little bit about your get-ready routine for a session — because you go through a lot when it’s happening, especially when it’s with me.
Sub Chillin: Yeah, I try to make sure that I’m showered. I reread the email, make sure I have all the details. I don’t really have a huge routine, I’d say — just take a shower, get ready, make sure I’m clean, and then get to the location.
Mx. Tomie: What’s your headspace during a session?
Sub Chillin: During a session, I’m trying to focus on what’s happening to me — focus on what you’re doing to me. I try not to think too much, or else I get too much into my head. I’m just trying to relax as much as possible and take whatever you’re giving.
Mx. Tomie: And you are a very good masochist.
Mx. Tomie Trivia
Mx. Tomie: Let’s play a little segment called Mx. Tomie Trivia. This tests your knowledge of me and sees if you remember all the details — if you’re a good sub. If you get it wrong, you get one kick, and it gets increasingly harder if you get more wrong. Ready? Okay — what’s my ethnicity? Let’s start easy.
Sub Chillin: You’re Taiwanese.
Mx. Tomie: What was my double major in college?
Sub Chillin: It was writing and creative literature.
Mx. Tomie: One of them was philosophy. The other one was —
Sub Chillin: Literature.
Mx. Tomie: No, it’s English.
Sub Chillin: English. Okay.
Mx. Tomie: Should I give you a pass? I’m not that nice. Get on your knees — that does not count. Nice and easy to start. That’s one. It’s going to get a little harder. What’s my name based on?
Sub Chillin: Tomie, based on Junji Ito’s manga Tomie.
Mx. Tomie: Yes. What’s my dog’s name?
Sub Chillin: Ghost.
Mx. Tomie: Okay, let’s get to the harder questions. Which borough was the dungeon I started at?
Sub Chillin: Brooklyn.
Mx. Tomie: Yes. I may have to make these a little harder. Two more hard questions. You probably don’t know this one unless you really remember — what was the self-defense class I took when I moved to New York in 2018?
Sub Chillin: Krav Maga.
Mx. Tomie: You do remember? I feel like I said this one time. I should have made these harder. Last hard question — you’re being a good sub right now. I’m not kicking you more, but the questions are going to get harder.
Dungeon Tools and Toys
Mx. Tomie: Let’s get you something more difficult. We’re going to play a section called “What Are These Toys?” We have a lovely guest here to go through the explainers. So — what is the name of these clamps? Take a look. Give it a 360.
Sub Chillin: I think it’s a CBT torture device.
Mx. Tomie: That is one strike. I love bondage devices that are wicked and don’t take too much. When people think about bondage, they think full-body control, all the leather. It really just takes being attached to something and the whole body can’t move. That’s strike two. What is this?
Sub Chillin: Nipple clamps.
Mx. Tomie: Where are the clamps? Come on. We can demonstrate on him.
Sub Chillin: [in trouble]
Mx. Tomie: This is called the Cruel Condom. Scott Paul, please sponsor us in the future — we’d love to feature your toys. Well, this is actually another Scott Paul toy. What do you think this is?
Sub Chillin: It doesn’t blind you, but it looks like it blurs things out on your eyes.
Mx. Tomie: You got one right. You didn’t say blindfold, because it’s not a blindfold. This is called a magic blindfold. What’s great about it is that when you’re wearing it, you can’t really see — but your mistress can see your eyes really clearly. So she can see all your reactions even though you can’t see her.
Sub Chillin: One-way mirror.
Mx. Tomie: That’s a six tally, which means you’re going to be punished six times here on camera. Get on your knees. Count it off in case I lose count. Ready?
Sub Chillin: Number one. Thank you, mistress.
Mx. Tomie: You should commit all those tools and toys to memory now. Take a breath. You’re recovering. Okay, you can sit back up.
How We Met
Mx. Tomie: Now, our transition question before we get to the meat of the interview — the session. Tell us the story of how we met and what you remember about that first meeting.
Sub Chillin: Okay. I booked a trip to New York and was looking for a dom to see here. I was scrolling through Twitter — I think I’d followed you from some time ago. I remember seeing a post from you; I think you were hugging a teddy bear and masquerading as your girl-next-door bully or something like that. So I decided to try and book you, filled out your intake form, and you agreed to have a session with me. I remember we went to a restaurant — I think it was called Sambar. We met for dinner first, spoke a little, got to know each other. During that dinner you told me to go to the bathroom by myself, which I was not expecting for a session like that. But it was definitely an experience.
Mx. Tomie: I get a little bored at restaurants sometimes. I’m like, okay, now we’re just eating and chilling — let’s spice it up.
Sub Chillin: I was not expecting that. I thought it was just going to be eating and getting to know each other. So that was interesting for me. Then we went to a hotel and had the session there. You bullied me, punched me, kicked me — all the good stuff.
Mx. Tomie: Exactly.
The Session Portion
Mx. Tomie: For this portion, I want you on your knees while answering everything. You said before that I’m your longest dom dynamic — it’s getting close to three years. What is it about me that makes you so comfortable submitting, and also staying consistent?
Sub Chillin: I like you as a person. You have a good personality. I enjoy talking with you. You can be really chill and then also really intense, which I like. It’s always fun to talk to you, hang out with you. During the session, we have a lot of shared interests in terms of sessioning. You’re very competent, and you can almost read my mind sometimes during the session.
Mx. Tomie: It’s not hard to read your mind — let me make that clear. Simple thoughts in there. You’re specifically into being bullied and wrestling with mean girls. When did you realize you were kinky and submissive?
Sub Chillin: I started at a very young age fantasizing about being beaten up by girls. It was always a fantasy — I never actually got into a fight with a girl, but it was a fantasy I had. I’d watch films and TV shows that had female action characters.
Mx. Tomie: When did you get to a point where you accepted this part of yourself?
Sub Chillin: Fairly recently. For a long time I kept it hidden — private. When I was younger I had a lot of shame over it. Going to sessions, seeing other doms, seeing people like yourself, really helped me come to terms with who I am and what I enjoy.
Mx. Tomie: People are always curious about the dating life of subs. Do you try to find people who are kinky in your dating life? How does that work for you?
Sub Chillin: I don’t have much dating experience because of what I’m into. It’s always been a fear of mine — having someone not be into me because of that, so I’d just avoid it. Lately I’ve been trying to have dates with other people. Preferably someone would match my kink. I think my kink might not be so extreme that I can’t find someone willing to do it. So — we’ll see.
Mx. Tomie: So it’s up in the air. You’ve mentioned it can be really hard to find someone in your daily life who matches your kinks and fetishes. What would your encouragement be for other men who want to find someone in their daily life too?
Sub Chillin: Step number one is you have to put yourself out there. You have to know what you want and go for it. In terms of dating, if you try to find someone with a kink, it’s going to be hard no matter what — it’s hard in general, even without kinks. So it’ll be even harder with them. You just have to go and do it and keep trying.
Mx. Tomie: I do have a lot of people who are couples, or subs who are like, “Oh, I have a girlfriend.” It’s really awesome to see that. As kinks and fetishes become less taboo, more people see doms — the analogy is like baking a cake. You and your wife can bake a cake at home, but you have to learn from scratch and you might not be very good at it. Or you can buy a cake from someone who loves baking cakes and does it all the time, and you can enjoy it. That metaphor really helps a lot of people contextualize the work itself.
Mx. Tomie: It’s very stigmatized for men to be submissive. What would your encouragement be for someone who’s coming to terms with themselves?
Sub Chillin: It could be a misconception — there are a lot of very masculine subs out there. You just have to be true to yourself and have confidence in who you are, whether that’s masculine or not. If you identify as submissive, you should be comfortable with that.
Mx. Tomie: How have I changed as a dom over time?
Sub Chillin: You’re a lot more outgoing now. When I first met you, you were maybe a little more timid — we were first getting to know each other, and you weren’t so much in the online space at the time. So you’re definitely a lot more outgoing now.
Mx. Tomie: Yeah, the online portion is a big difference — you’re definitely available online now.
Green Flags and Red Flags
Mx. Tomie: What would your advice be for a sub looking for a new dom? What are some green flags and red flags to look out for?
Sub Chillin: For a new dom, it’s important to do your research. It’s good to see their social media, see that they have a website — that’s a good sign. One good thing about following them on social media is that you can see who they’re friends with. You can see they’re friends with other doms and not just — well, they might have bad relationships with other doms, or be negative in general. That’s not good. See if there’s someone you can hang out with, or who has similar kinks and fetishes. So definitely do your research.
Mx. Tomie: And for red flags — what are some red flags in a dom?
Sub Chillin: Maybe they don’t have a website. If they’re on social media just doing the findom wave and they’re not really an established professional dominatrix, booking someone like that is very risky — you don’t know what you’re getting. Someone who’s online-only and offers a session you try to book — I think that’s also risky. So you should definitely do research.
Mx. Tomie: Have you ever had a really bad session experience, and if so, what happened — so people can avoid that situation?
Sub Chillin: The one big thing I remember was someone canceling a session on me 30 minutes before, while I was driving there. That was pretty bad — I find that almost as incompetent, in my opinion. There was another time where there was a rug in the space and someone had sweaty feet, and it kind of combined with the lint on their foot, and I had to lick it off. I like clean feet, so it was off-putting for me, but I went through it. Other than that, I haven’t had too many bad experiences. Sometimes people go a little too hard, but it’s usually all fine.
Pain Threshold
Mx. Tomie: Because you’re a hard masochist — how did you figure out your pain threshold, and how do you know when you’ve hit a limit?
Sub Chillin: Definitely through sessioning. I don’t think finding out your pain threshold on yourself is a good idea — doing it to yourself doesn’t really do anything, and it’s hard to gauge.
Mx. Tomie: It’s really hard, even if you like it.
Sub Chillin: Yes. I definitely think sessioning is a good way to do that. A dom usually has a lot of experience, so they can gauge what pain tolerance you can take.
Our Dynamic
Mx. Tomie: Let’s talk about our dynamic. You’ve already talked about what qualities in me make for a long-lasting dynamic. What are some of your favorite memories of the play we’ve had?
Sub Chillin: I definitely think the first time I met you was a lot of fun. And it’s been downhill from there —
Mx. Tomie: Only up from the first one. Come on.
Sub Chillin: Well, that’s when I met you, right? It was a lot of fun — you had a lasting impression on me. You were kind of quiet at first, maybe sizing me up, and then you became bubbly at times. I really enjoyed that. Last time in New York we went to a boxing room and you kind of boxed me around — with gloves.
Mx. Tomie: Oh yeah, with the Muay Thai gloves too.
Sub Chillin: You pushed me up to the wall. That was a lot of fun — the wall was padded. Most recently, yesterday, after a few days of abstaining —
Mx. Tomie: 20 days, right?
Sub Chillin: 24 — no, I believe it was 19 days.
Mx. Tomie: You’re keeping count. It’s been more since then, but it’s his first chastity ever. Mental denial — no cage for this one.
Sub Chillin: Yeah, mental chastity. Having the session yesterday with you —
Mx. Tomie: He’s never done chastity before, and I like to change things up. The good thing about a long dynamic, or seeing someone consistently, is there’s no awkwardness anymore. I know you, I know how your body reacts, I can just jump into it. We can experiment with other things that could be fun, or if I see gaps in how to increase the way your brain clicks in a session, I like bringing it in — even if it’s not his kink or fetish.
Sub Chillin: But I was willing to try for you, which was fun. It was a good way to practice discipline. A good experience.
Mx. Tomie: You’re not exclusive to me — he’s not an owned sub. You see a lot of other doms too, play sessions. You just had a wrestling session this morning. What’s the difference between the one-off sessions here and there versus a long dynamic?
Sub Chillin: With a long dynamic, I’m more inclined to book social time — have dinner with them and stuff — as opposed to a one-off. Sometimes people aren’t willing to do dinner, and a lot of wrestlers don’t even offer that. So there’s a big difference in how much I’m willing to see someone. I definitely prefer longer dynamics — I’d always prioritize that. But sometimes it can be fun to book someone with different skill sets than the doms I’ve been seeing.
Mx. Tomie: There’s a mystery to it, an excitement. Both are fun, but I do have a preference for longer-running dynamics. What do you think is the one thing the audience should know about me, since you’re one of my subs?
Sub Chillin: Mx. Tomie is a very kind person, very cool person — very sweet, but at the same time very demanding, and can be mean. So definitely stay on her good side.
Mx. Tomie: That’s true. And with that, let’s move on to the aftercare. Good job — you’re allowed to sit back on the chair.
Aftercare
Mx. Tomie: Usually the question is how you transition to your own aftercare, but we could just talk about the aftercare we’ve done — because these are such heavy beatdown sessions.
Sub Chillin: Food after is always nice. In Miami one time, you took me out for sushi after. Yesterday you got me a burger and fries — I also ate before; you got me a Caesar salad, coffee, all that good stuff. The aftercare is pretty chill at this point.
Mx. Tomie: Sometimes early sessions, where you’re just meeting someone, aftercare can be very structured to really make sure they’re okay. But once that trust is built and you know they’re going to be okay and the drop isn’t too intense, it’s pretty comfortable. One time we watched anime — I forced him to watch an anime I liked. I was like, you have to get into it. So I made him watch a bunch of that. What other aftercare moments do you remember?
Sub Chillin: Honestly, I think you named most of them. It’s usually dinner — almost every single time we’ve had a dinner afterwards. That’s been pretty consistent. I remember watching the anime. Usually we just talk a little afterwards.
Mx. Tomie: Was there ever an intense session where we needed really intense aftercare? I don’t remember one — it’s been pretty good. There’s no sub drop for you.
Sub Chillin: Agreed. I don’t really experience sub drop too often. Maybe my mind will blank out a little the next day, or I’ll feel really tired, but in general I’m pretty good after.
Mx. Tomie: What’s your headspace after a session? How do you feel?
Sub Chillin: Usually I feel good. Happy. Definitely tired — pretty tired right after. The next day I can be a little down, in the sense that I have a headache and feel a little slow. And then usually a few days later I get sore where I got hit.
On Stigma
Mx. Tomie: There’s still a lot of stigma around hiring doms, hiring providers, all of that. What would you say to the general audience who might feel some type of way about a transactional dynamic?
Sub Chillin: The good thing about seeing an experienced dom — if they accept money, if they do it as a job — is that they’re very experienced. They see people pretty often, so they have good knowledge about a variety of kinks and know how to handle people. It’s definitely preferred, in my opinion, if you’re starting out and don’t know what you’re into and you’re trying to see what fits.
Mx. Tomie: Because his kinks and fetishes are so specific, I do agree it’s hard to find a match, even on Feeld or some of the more open apps. It can be difficult. I’ve been encouraging him to go to more kink parties, but he’s such an introvert — I might have to take him out to one to push him to be a little more extroverted. I think it’ll be good for you. More on the journey to come.
Mx. Tomie: Thank you, Chillin, for coming onto an uncensored session and sharing all your experiences.
Sub Chillin: Thank you, mistress.
